Holding On and Letting Go

Thinking about new beginnings always puts me in the mood to clean stuff out, like closets and shelves and the kitchen counter and the stack of stuff by my bed. I made a little progress on that yesterday, making decisions about each item I encountered.

I love beautiful things, and I love useful things. And I REALLY love things that are both functional and lovely to look at. As I sorted, I kept all the things I love, and all the things I need.

The beautiful things I tried to put on the wall or on an open shelf--somewhere where I can see them without even trying. The merely useful items I kept, but I tried to put them away somewhere out of sight, only to be dug out when I really need them. And I did totally let go of quite a few things yesterday which weren't adding anything to my life, things which I neither need nor want any longer.

While I was sorting and tossing and rearranging my things, it made me think about the year just ended, and all the memories I've collected over the last twelve months. It's been a wonderful year in many many ways, filled with blessings and love and fun and joy. Those beautiful memories are worthy of frequent recollection. They merit my attention.

There have been other aspects of this year, however, which have been difficult and sad. Those memories may be useful to recall, but only when needed. While I can't really choose to just purge certain experiences or situations from my memory, I can choose to put them away in a place where I won't need to encounter them often. They won't be my focus. They're kind of like my toilet plunger. It would be unwise to get rid of it, but I don't need to keep it in my front entryway or in the middle of my kitchen table.

My life is defined and literally created by where I choose to focus my attention--I will eventually become what I habitually attend to. Here's to the happiness of 2009. These are a few of the memories I'm deliberately holding on to (in no particular order):

My Little Girl

This is just one of the many faces of Jennie--"The Platypus", which has made me smile for at least two decades. Jennie may be physically small, but she's HUGE in personality, and spirit, and confidence, and love. She laughs at Erma Bombeck books, cries at U2 concerts, takes spills in stride, and makes the world's best quesadilla. I just got off the phone with her, at the finish line of the half marathon she ran in New Hampshire this morning. In a little over 2 hours. She dreamed up this challenge for herself several months ago. It was a stretch to get ready, what with two little ones, and supporting Dustin in devoting himself to his studies, and the huge amounts of time and love that she gives to her sisters in Relief Society. But she did it. Like she always does. I'm so proud of my beautiful little daughter. I want to be like her when I grow up.

Dreaming Dreams, And Then Some

Here's the story of Maisie DeVore, whose example of saving for a pool inspires me. Daring to dream a dream is the huge first step. But continuing to work tirelessly toward its fulfillment, in the face of seeming impossibility, is the part that eludes most of us. Many years ago, when he was a little boy, Jake dreamed of playing college basketball, and in a few weeks he'll head off to Virginia to begin doing just that. Maisie dreamed of building a swimming pool for the children in her town. See how she finally made that happen. Both remind me of the truth my mother always taught me: "Can't is a sluggard, too lazy to try."

Happy

I'm so happy that my very best girlfriend is in town. Jennie and Dustin and the kids are here for a far-too-short visit. I love every minute they are here, whether we're doing the platypus, having a waterfight and then reading books in the "secret place", or going to the Oquirrh Mountain Temple Openhouse.

Last week I went to the temple, and came out with the same message I usually come out with: "Be happy". That's what the Lord has asked us (well actually commanded us) to do. Here is a poem that says the same thing to me. It's from a book of Good Poems, collected by Garrison Keillor, which I gave to Jon to take with him to Alaska. He gave it back to me and told me he probably wouldn't have much reading time, so to just post some of my favorites on my blog. So this one's for you Jonny. It reminds me not to wait until all the sadness is gone to be happy.

Wild Geese by Mary Oliver

You do not have to be good.
You do not have to walk on your knees
for a hundred miles through the desert, repenting.
You only have to let the soft animal of your body
love what it loves.
Tell me about despair, yours, and I will tell you mine.
Meanwhile the world goes on.
Meanwhile the sun and the clear pebbles of the rain
are moving across the landscapes,
over the prairies and the deep trees,
the mountain and the rivers.
Meanwhile the wild geese, high in the clean blue air,
are heading home again.
Whoever you are, no matter how lonely,
the world offers itself to your imagination,
calls to you like the wild geese, harsh and exciting--
over and over announcing your place
in the family of things.

It's Official. I'm Old.

Sniff, sniff........

The Last Dance

Prom was last night, and Jake went out in style for his last high school dance. Couldn't have had a hotter date than Taylor (his brothers have had a crush on her since she was in 6th grade). And couldn't have had cooler wheels than Coach Shell's Lexus convertible. A good time was had by all.
Thanks Coach!

My other favorite pianist named Jon

Someone shared this video with me and I loved it, so I wanted to pass it along. This is definitely my kind of music.

Love Story Meets Viva La Vida